“MY STORY” Project: Tommy Wolff‘s Story.
I loved Jesus, I always knew Him to be real. I remember being so young and seeing people in our evening services at church up at the alter praying and seeking, and here is a 5 year boy who would go up and love on them and pray. I always felt Him, I always knew Him to be real.
I would be in 2nd grade and our teachers would have us write a paragraph on, “Who was our Best friend.” You guessed it, I said Jesus. I remember the teacher slowing down her speech as she just realized the words she was about to say. Little Tommy Wolff’s best friend is Jesus.
Little Tommy Wolff, would soon after those years move far away from every thinking that He would ever love Jesus again.
I was 14 years old, and having a Dad who was Indestructible and never showed weakness would come crumbling down. My dad, would become so sick in a 4 months’ time that he would lose 100 lbs and become a shell of his former self. His hands would curl up and his stare would become someone who was lost. He would sometimes forget about his boy, and he knew he was going to have to leave.
My dad died 2 days being I started 9th grade, and I guess you could say that I died too. Life would just become so lost and confusing for the next 3 years. My mom lost her will to live, and I wanted to do everything that God hated. If that meant getting lost in the Darkness, so be it. My Fridays nights in high school were spent in graveyards.
Seeing the path I was on though started to scare me, something needed to change. And there was only one person I knew who could do it. I didn’t want to die, I didn’t want to rot and be lost. I wanted to feel alive, I wanted to feel loved. Valued. Then Jesus came, I was 17 sitting alone on a pew by myself. I would go on to have an encounter with God that literally changed everything about me.
The upcoming years, were years of growth and of figuring things out. I strived to do everything right, I wanted to do whatever I thought would make me experience God more. I would jump through whatever hoop was before me and listen to everyone who ever said “God told me.” I would get pretty confused after that. I would go through 6 years of depression, and wondering what happened and is this real.
How could someone who had such an encounter end up getting stuck in such a nasty hole? Eventually I would call my mom and tell her that I don’t want to live anymore, and try to kill myself.
But, those years of fire would birth identity, purpose, and love. I would step into who I’ am and realizing that what God says about me, is the only thing I need to Trust. Knowing that I’m absolutely loved, that I don’t have to be at war with myself. That the moment I accepted Christ, that I truly became a new creation. That I was made right with the father because of Christ’s sacrifice and he would make me a son of God. That is far more than a feeling, it is a truth that you believe. I know that…I love Jesus, and he is crazy about me.